Cousin Emily's entree to parenting two kids

My favorite cousin, Emily from Cincinnati, came to visit us this week.  Emily and I have always been close and even have the same laugh. Emily is a special education teacher in Ohio, so she was on spring break.  WOO HOO!  Spring break in Chesapeake Beach!  Having her here made me super excited for the 3rd Annual Buffington Reunion in Atlanta this August. 

I tried to talk up Emily's visit to Ashton, so that he would see how cool she is to be arround.  Truly, Emily is hilarious and has a witty comment about everything.  An added bonus because of her professional background, she has all of the tools to manage active kids.  However, it was a rough couple of days because Ashton wasn't his self, which made the visit stressful.   I think Emily might have diagnosed the problem best: Ashton is jealous of anyone who diverts my attention away from him.  Now that she said it, I can see how his behavior changes when there is competition in the room.  It also explains why he hasn't liked my mom in the past, because she and I are very close and talk nonstop during our visits.  Though this revalation helped explain things, it didn't make it any less annoying when he acted out every five minutes.  Towards the end of the visit, I tried to communicate with Ashton giving him full attention when I was able, so he didn't feel as left out.  This seemed to help a little... then we went to JumpBunch class. 

Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to start.  I signed Ashton up for a class that teaches sports fundamentals, since he is obsessed with sports.  Unfortunately, the taking turns and pause for instruction is almost too much for him to handle.  I spent 75% of my time running after him and trying to get him focused.  Mothers looked at me in disgust when he ran away from the class or didn't follow the exact instructions.  I can't understand the judgmental looks and wanted to punch each one of them in the face.  A few of them had the audacity to comment: "I don't know how you do it." "Is he always this, uh, energetic?" "It's a good thing you're ten years younger than me because I don't have the energy anymore."  Screw all of them.  Ashton is a really good kid, I swear; being the youngest in the class doesn't help, plus he is just learning how to stand in line and wait.  He's one of the most athletic ones, so isn't like he can't hang.  It's these parents' attitudes and facial expressions that give kids who are unique low self-esteem, which in turn teaches their peers to outright reject them from their perfectly coiffed cliques.  I pray that I don't turn into one of them and use this experience to support other parents in similar situations.  Maybe one day I'll find the courage to speak out to these jerks and fight for my little guy.   

Swings are awesome! 

Go Reagan, Go!  Reagan starts to enjoy the swing.

High ten from Emily!

"Chug, Chug, Chug..."  Emily turned the swing into a roller coaster.  Ashton was in heaven!

Wind blown Emily as my super pseudo parent!

Yay Mommy!  Let's get a picture of the Cathcart Triple Threat outside of JumpBunch. 

Spring has sprung and we're having fun!

I have mentioned before that Reagan loves to put clothes on.  Doesn't matter what it is, be it a dish towel, necklace, or anything else laying around.  She loves it, and we love it too.

Keshia visits for a really fun St. Patty's Day celebration with JUST Mommy and Dada-- Thanks Kim!  Beforehand, Keshia plays dress up with Reagan. ... and yes, Aunt Keshia thought that Ashton's underwear would do just fine!

Underwear is fun!

Reagan put on all of the leis we got from baby Hannah's 1st birthday.  Too funny!

Now that the weather has somewhat improved, we're going on walks each day.  The kids love it and I really do too.  Here's a few pics from one of our sunny days, albeit on the cold side. 

Freeze!!  Ashton loves to run ahead of the stroller and then say "Look mommy!  FREEZE!!"

Something that I adore about Ashton is his outgoing personality.  He loves, loves, loves to visit the "big guys" on the basketball court.  He begs for the ball, and usually the boys indulge him.  I love watching because he is polite and idolizes all of them.  He really, really wants to be about 10, so he can join in on their games. 

Chesapeake Beach is in bloom!

SLIDE!  No surprise that our daredevil loves slides.  I caught him this time going down the slide the right way.  Typically, he prefers a running belly flop. 

I've received a few critiques of this blog because there are rarely pictures of me.  It is really hard to snap shots of me, but since it was such a sunny day, I captured this one.  Reagan was cold, so wasn't interested in smiling.  (ignore snot!)

We went to Hannah Jones' pool party, who is the daughter of my friends from college, Courtney and Tarn Jones.  They threw the perfect party for a 1-year-old, and kept in low key and kid-focused. How refreshing!!!  Truly, I had a blast.  They used an indoor pool and only had four kids present, including our two.  What made that great is the chaos was at a minimum, so the four kids were able to have the attention of their parents and swim in the pool for an endless amount of time.  Reagan and Ashton were in HEAVEN.  Reagan was kicking her legs the entire time with a perma-smile.  Ashton was also in hog heaven.  He was jumping in and out of the water, yelling "SWIM!!," playing with floating toys, and of course telling me, "Mommy, let go!!"  He doesn't know how to swim, so I couldn't let go, but we are definitely taking swim lessons soon because he is a natural.  In summary, it was a perfect day and I thank Courtney and Tarn for including us. 

Sweet Hannah is pooped from all the fun.  I didn't get great pictures, since I was primarily playing a fence between Ashton and the pool. 

Miss Sassy Pants in her two piece bathing suit. 

Ashton after swimming was all smiles.

As a last update for this blog, Reagan is really walking around the house.  She's walking about 60% of the time, and you know the toddle stage is just so cute.  Additionally, we've been really fortunate to have amazing hand-me-down clothes from mothers with great taste.  Which means she's now able to wear dresses since they're an annoyance when crawling. 

Looking pretty in blue!

A gender thing..

I was in WalMart today with the kids.  I was alone and unarmed with fruit snacks, which are our latest go-to when managing a toddler crisis.  It was a quick trip to get just a few things, and the kids were as happy as could be.  Great moods all around and even I was having fun.

So there we were zipping along having a conversation about colors and random other things: "what's this?" "FISH!! STAR!!"  Life was good.  As we entered the card aisle, a particularly boring place for the non-readers in the crowd, Ashton asked with a big smile, "Mommy, shoulders?  Please?!"  "Sure, whatever keeps him happy," I thought.  So I loaded him on my shoulders and started to push the cart with one hand and held his feet in an arm bar across my chest.

This woman hollers down the aisle, "You sure that's a good idea?  He's going to fall."   Quick pause-- I'm typically not opinionated with strangers.  Ordinarily, I would have smiled, taken her advice and felt like a total moron.  However, this woman ruined my mood from what was otherwise a perfect outing.  My blood started to boil.

First of all, what qualifies this woman to give me parenting advice?
Do you really think I would do something to harm my son?
Finally, what most pissed me off: if I were a man, you would think that I was Superdad, and inevitably call me cute.

I replied curtly to the hag, I mean, middle-aged woman, "Ma'am, this isn't my first rodeo.  I got it." And with that I was off, steaming with anger.  I was most upset because Jimmy has done this move 1,000 times before.  When we're out shopping it is not uncommon for me to take the lead grabbing things off our list as he pushes the cart with Ashton on his shoulders.  People are constantly coming up saying how adorable it is.  Which it is adorable, but why is it different when I do it?  I can't see the difference.  Is there an assumption that I need some manly strength to carry 34 lbs on my shoulders?  Is it because I'm short?  Little does this woman know that I carry 50 lbs of baby around my house on a daily basis.

It is the worst to get unsolicited and very public advice.  I was embarrassed, not because I should have been, but because this lady made me feel like I was being reckless with one of my most prized possessions.

Have you ever had unwelcome parenting advice from a total stranger?  What did you do?

Sicky McSickerson and a day with Charolotte

When Ashton gets sick, there is always a horrible respiratory issue.  Here he is getting his usual breathing treatment.

Grammy and Papa visited, so it was necessary to break out the "Perfectly spoiled by Grandma" onsie.  She may be spoiled, but we think she deserves it!

Charlotte, a friend from the American Legion, and her daughter, Karen, watched the kids when I had a doctor's appointment this week.  It was so helpful to go alone - truly a rarity - and be able to concentrate on the doctor without the incessant "What's that?"  It was also nice to get a short break from the daily craziness.  We were lucky that Charlotte watches her grandchildren during the day, which meant we made new friends.  I was so proud of the kids as there was no separation anxiety and they were acclimated to the new environment in seconds.  I am sure they were glad to have a break from their crazy Mom just as I was happy to leave them!

Reagan squared!  Charlotte's granddaughter, Reagan, and our Sweet Baby Rea pose for a picture.

New toys?!  No time for a picture, Mom!

Makenna squeezes Reagan and "Big Reagan" peeps in from above.  Makenna clearly wants a sibling!

"Big Reagan," "Little Reagan," and Makenna are all smiles. 

Getting Ready for Softball Season!

 We found these awesome kid's outdoor chairs at Sams and couldn't resist.  They were only 10 bucks, so it was a no brainer.  They are a must have for our upcoming Softball season, right?  Both Jimmy and I play, so we know that these chairs will be handy for our #1 spectators!

Ashton sits momentarily then springs to action!

Reagan's first time in the chair.

Big hug in the Chair!

  

Eating grapes to get the full effect.

Getting situated and figuring things out!

 ...and a Reagan photo shoot!

Enjoy Every Moment

Baby Liam, Grace, and Reagan.

Play date kids: Liam, Grace, Reagan, Noah, and Ashton.  Notice the space between Ashton and Noah.  This is the closest we could get them without starting the third World War.

I visited a friend on Sunday, and the day was intended to catch up and have the kids play at her house. My friend has a household of kids: a 4-month-old, a 3.5-year-old, and an almost 7-year-old.   The first hour of play time was pretty good, but then all bets were off.  Ashton was literally terrorizing her sweet-mannered 3.5-year-old and I was playing referee, praying that he would cease and desist.  My friend was kind and acted nonchalant about the situation, but I was mortified.  The truth of the matter is that I felt like a crazy person going from one crisis to the next with my only saving grace being Reagan's perfect behavior, since I downright neglected her for an hour.

I suppose the frustrating part is that in these moments people always tell me, "kids will be kids."  And yes, kids will be kids, but I feel like my kid is always the one being a kid and the other children are like tiny adults.  Ashton is so loving and sweet within these four walls, but when we leave, he's like a pent up Rottweiler.  "High spirited" is what I've been told to call him. I happily embrace his energy, especially since I know exactly who he inherited this from (ahem, Jimmy), but the pummeling of other children must stop.

As my friend and I were catching up, she looked at her highly intelligent, helpful, and well mannered 7-year-old and said, "It just goes so fast.  Enjoy every moment." Ha! I nodded in agreement, but couldn't help disagreeing silently.  I was smack-dab in the middle of a moment I was absolutely NOT enjoying...

Over the last couple of months, I have resolved to allow a guilt-free pass to have appropriate emotional reactions to the occasional tornado around me.  I don't yell out of line or act violently, but that does mean that I recognize my feelings of anger, frustration, and/or anxiousness.  Personally, I believe I would be insane to relish in these horrific moments.  This doesn't mean I don't love my kids at all times, but it does mean that I don't always like them. 

When I finally mustered up the courage to call it quits on the play date out of pure exhaustion and embarrassment, I loaded up the kids in the car and breathed a sigh of relief.  Sure, Ashton was screaming for juice and Reagan was complaining about being in her car seat, but at least I was the only one enduring the torture.  I am much better at this when I'm alone.  After about 2 minutes of driving both kids stopped their complaining and fell asleep.  Ahhh... Now this was a moment I happily enjoyed.

Reagan's Favorite Things...

Just wanted to create a quick post, as every time I see Reagan with this collection of things I think that I need to immortalize it on the internet.
1. To Trev and Jo: Reagan loves to put on and take off the rosary you gave Ashton for his baptism.  Seriously, she loves it, which is so weird because I questioned what we were going to do with it until Ashton was old enough to appreciate its significance.  problem solved!
2. To AnnMarie: She loves to chew the glow in the dark bracelet we got at the Arabian Nights show in FL.  I'm hoping it doesn't contain any toxic material!
3. This one is classic... for some reason all children love cell phones and Reagan is no exception.

Reagan's First Steps!

Truth be told, the below video was captured a few days after Reagan's actual first steps.  You see, she took her first solo step while we were at Carmax selling our Jeep.  I was the only one who witnessed it because we were in their play area while Jimmy spoke with the agent.  I yelled, "Ashton, look!  Reagan's walking!" and just as if he had done it 100 times, he bee-lined for Reagan.  Knowing how Ashton is, I too went running, but couldn't catch him.  He pushed her right over as she was lunging to take her second step.  That jerk...

Surprise birthday for Papa

My immediate family decided to throw my father a surprise 61st birthday party.  Since I stay at home now, I decided to travel to Charleston on my own with the kids and be there for the surprise.  Trevor and Joanna were kind enough to let me and my kid-tornado crash at their house the night before the surprise.  It took us 11 1/2 hours to make a 8.5 hour trip-- ugh.  The kids were actually a dream, especially considering the circumstances, but we had to take our time for "pee-pee time" breaks and toured just about every McDonalds playplace on the Eastern seaboard.  I always thought those things were a waste of space, and frankly very unsanitary, but they were a lifesaver and my opinion is forever changed.  I literally could not have made it without them.

When we got to Charleston, Trevor and Jo took us to this very cool BBQ place, that is totally the new Charleston.  Since I left this great city, things have really changed, and a focus on excellent food, drink, and nightlife have consumed the locals.  It is a cultural experience to visit.  Anyway, as soon as we were seated, Ashton was --AHEM-- in a mood, and didn't want to sit in the high chair.  You really can't blame him, since the poor kid had just endured a car seat for 11.5 hours.  He was protesting and required a little help to get him into the seat.  As a good mom, I thought I would redirect his attention to his oh-so-cool-hat.  Well, wouldn't you know it, he grabbed the hat from me and with a huge smile, chucked it behind it head.  As luck would have it - SPLAT - the hat landed on the table of a women, who was just about the meanest person I've encountered in recent memory.  Her face of disgust was apparent to the entire restaurant.  Trevor profusely apologized, gently explaining why the outburst happened, and lifted the hat from her table. Well, the women called over the waitress insisting on a new meal and decided to make a scene.  Thank God for Trevor and his intervention, because I would have probably crawled under the table and cried.  Long story short, the couple stayed at their table shooting us death stares throughout the entire dinner.  After the couple left, two different waitresses came up and apologized to us for what was clearly an overreaction.  Sure, no one wants a hat on their food and table, but the way this woman kept saying, "well, I don't know where that hat's been!!!  You should keep them at home if you can't control them!" just seemed a little much.  On top of it, we sincerely apologized and beyond turning back the hands of time and intercepting the torpedo, there was nothing we could have done.  And frankly that's life.  Kids aren't perfect, and we were all cranky little brats at some point, so a little understanding would be appreciated.

The next day, we were part of the party planning team... I don't know how much we contributed considering the nap times, diaper changes, and the general chaos the two kids cause, but at least I was made to feel like our presence wasn't too much of a hindrance.  Trevor and Joanna cooked all of the food for the party, so they were working overtime as far as I'm concerned.  It went off very well thanks to my mom's careful planning and contingency plans, and Dad seems genuinely surprised.

Although our trip home was even longer than our first trip, it was all worth it in the end.  The kids had a BLAST and didn't want to go home.  I can't wait for another adventurous trip soon!

The happy birthday boy!

Lauren and Dad trying to do the famous "Act," as coined by Chelsea and Lauren in the early '90s.

Oh wait, Chelsea and Lauren shall not be out done!  And guess what?  We still got it!!  Some even debated if the "Act 2011" was actually more complicated the the original...

Power couple.  Trevor and Joanna making the food for the party.

Thumbs up for a great party!

Trevor loves baby Rea.

This is not child abuse... I swear she didn't mind!  Pictured here are Reagan's new fang teeth!

High five from Uncle Trev for blowing out all of the candles!  (Ashton thinks any birthday is his birthday and he is so enthusiastic that I don't have the heart to correct him...)

 

The siblings!

Pictured here with my sister, Lauren.

Lauren and JD were the life of the party!

To see the full album of pictures, visit my public album on facebook.

Fun with a ferret!

Picture Sampling from Febuary.

Spring has sprung!  Reagan was looking too cute in this hat, so we had a photo shoot.  This is the first hat she's worn, other than her snow hats. 

Tessa came over for a quick visit... actually she and Ashton ran into the house from being outside and the two of them had to try out Ashton's new Toy Story Adirondack chairs.

A rare moment- Ashton was asleep, so Reagan and I got to have another photo shoot.  She is so curious of the camera, so I captured her here trying to inspect the lens. 

She has been standing like a champ for months, but just started walking this week.  Pictured here, she's looked to me like she was going to taker her first step, so I was ready to catch it on camera. 

Tyler comes over to play!  We love Tyler sleepovers!! 

Daddy looking dapper on his way to work.  The kids have been getting up at the same time as Jimmy, which is fun to have them say good bye to him, but annoying that they're up at 5 am each day... ugh.

Ashton was a big kid on the playground in Charleston.  He could use every piece of their meticulously manicured play equipment and for once, didn't attack any children.  He is really growing up and we, and all other children that cross his path, are thrilled to be out of that phase!

With no instruction, no other children around to mimic, Ashton climbed the latter like he had been doing it for years.  It was so cool to watch.  My dad and I kept thinking he was going to misstep and fall, but not once did he falter. 

Reagan's first time in a swing.  She loved it!

Happy baby excited to be swinging in Charleston.

Baby girl in the tub.  She is forever happy and we thank God every day for her amazing temperament.

Ashton in the tub too.  The marks you see on his cheek are from a marker he found earlier in the day and decided to "shave" with it.

Mommy HAD to make coffee, as I do every morning, and to entertain Ashton I gave him four coffee filter hats to share with everyone.  This gave me three minutes to make the coffee and gave us countless laughs while the coffee brewed. 

Surprisingly, the filters stay on very well.  I think we all kept our hats on for a good 30 minutes.  HA!