Yep, I'm a killjoy.

My entire life I knew I was never going to be an uptight parent.  I hate people who restrict their children for no apparent reason, which (I assume) satisfies their self-centered need to quell the irrational whims of childhood that actually make a child --gasp-- a child.   I wanted, and still want, to be the cool parent.  No, not the dope-providing, immature parent trying to relive their glory days, but the parent whose house is where everyone feels comfortable. 

However, the more and more I parent, the more and more I feel like a killjoy.  I remember growing up and hating my parents' ridiculous rules, because I thought they served no purpose.  Don't tell Dan and Cath, but I have changed my opinion on rules entirely.  Turns out, these rules had plenty of good reasons for being in existence (like sudden death, for example).

“Keep the water in the tub!”
Assumed reason:  My parents suck.
Actual reason: Water is a total hazard.  Both Reagan and Ashton have busted it because of water on the floor, and I’m talking head over heals, no limb to brace, tile-cracking fall.  Fallen child then looks at me with those sad, red eyes and act like it was all my fault.


“Food stays in the kitchen!” 
Assumed reason:  My mom and dad think I can't do anything.  I most certainly can keep food on this plate. 
Actual reason: Eating around the house takes one mess and multiples it by 10.  I was finding food freaking everywhere.  Under the couch, in the trunk of toy cars, on and in the carpet, even though I thought I was watching the kids like a hawk.  


“Sit in your chair!”
Assumed reason:  My parents are mean.  
Actual reason: You will fall.  It will hurt.  You will cry and ruin my dinner.  


“Don’t touch the laundry!” 
Assumed reason:  My parents love ruining my fun.
Actual reason:  There is nothing more annoying than spending 30 minutes folding clothes only to return to a clothes bomb executed by the two stealth bombers who run this house.  Sure, it's a blast to walk around with a shirt on your head, but here's your warning: it's a one way ticket to time out.


“Clean up your toys!” 
Assumed reason: My parents think I'm a slave.
Actual reason:  Somehow 10 toys become a minefield and more than likely, I'm going to get my foot impaled by a block or trip and fall over an invisible dump truck.  You think my stumbles are hilarious; however, they make me want to ring your neck.


Now that I'm in my parents' shoes, I am certain that my kids will think I suck and will rebel against the list of rules I've made.  I know that comes with the territory.  I'm just having a little trouble fitting into this particular part of the job description.  I'm not someone who necessarily believes in the black and white, so making hard and fast rules is challenging.  Sure I believe in right and wrong, but who cares if it is raining and the kid wants to go play?  

I wish parenting came with a set of 10-Commandment-like rules, so that I wouldn't feel like everyday I was setting another rule in reaction to some ridiculous or death defying incident.  Furthermore, at what point will I embrace my loser-ness and relish in the never-ending, always contested rule-making? How have you coped? 

Strottman dropby

 As the weeks and months quickly pass by, I occasionally remember to meet up with friends and get updates on what's happened since we last saw each other.  I'm notoriously bad at staying in communication, because I've never been one of those super communicators- you know the ones that always call when it's your birthday, send you an email when they think of you, and call on their commute... Basically the people that make me feel like a horrible friend and human.    

To all friends I haven't see in a while, I hope you take this two ways: I still love you and maybe you should call, since I suck.

Anyway, I randomly contacted our dear friends, the Strottmans, and took a quick visit to their house a few weeks ago. Coincidentally, it was Grace's seventh birthday, so it made me look like a rock star (to her at least).  Below are pictures of the chaos we created before her first sleepover.  

By the way, I gotta give credit to Matt and Kathleen for allowing 10 6-7 year old kids sleep over.  That sounds waaaaay too painful for my taste! 

Playing tag.  From left to right: Grace (7), Noah (3) and Ashton (2)

Let's dance!  Grace and Noah turned down the lights for a romantic atmosphere.

Even Reagan got in on the action with the big kids!

At first, the vacuum was the main source of sound.  Super fun for the grown ups.  After that, there was a battle of the lights.  Ashton is telling the room that he wants "LIGHT ON!"

Smoosh and kisses for the birthday girl.

Ashton truly helping clean up the toys with Kathleen!

Blessings Abound

It seemed pretty inconvenient to have Reagan's baptism and 1st birthday party on a Mother's Day.  I knew people would miss it for totally valid reasons.  Reagan's day in the sun would be lost, overridden by the mother's day flowers and cards. Frankly, a part of me didn't want to share the limelight either.  I wanted to be worshiped and just a little recognition for all that I do around here.

I called the church and talked with Pastor Byron about the date we had in mind.  He said, "what a blessing to be able to have your daughter baptized on Mother's Day."  It then occurred to me.  We're not baptizing her for the sake of cute pictures in a white dress.  We're not baptizing her so she can meet the congregation, as they have already watched her grow before their eyes.  We're baptizing her because we believe that her life as a Christian should start right away, and as Christians, we know there is nothing more important.  We're doing our part to guide her toward a path of righteousness and humility.

So, essentially, I am being selfish. What better gift for Mother's Day than to have my daughter begin her Christian life, just as I always dreamed she would.  I am fulfilling my dream of raising Reagan as a women of faith, and no Hallmark card or box of candy can compete with that.

It meant the world  to have our friends and family join us for the event, especially since they likely deferred their own Mother's Day plans to be with our family.   How remarkable that these mothers sacrificed on what should be their one day to not fix breakfast, do laundry, play chauffeur, etc.  As a mom, I know sacrifice comes as second nature, but I was so touched by the presence of my dear friends and family, who gave Reagan a piece of their day:  Cathy, Nancy, Tracy, Brandy, Jen, Brandi, Heather, Dolores, Vicki, Gracie, and Katie.

And... I did get celebrated.  Jimmy and my dad planted an entire bed of flowers as a surprise after Reagan's party.  My dad said that he and Jimmy had to leave to get me my mother's day present.  Truth be told, I thought they were going to the liquor store for some wine -- hey, mama gotta relax every now and then -- but they showed up with a truck full of flowers! 

Tyler and Ashton getting ready for the festivities!

Jen and Jason Potocki were selected as Reagan's God Parents.  Here we're all seated before the service starts. 

Brandy, Gage, and Tracy

"Big Ashton" and Gracie King

Dudley and Nancy (Jimmy's parents)

Vicki and Dolores (Jimmy's sisters)

Presenting Reagan to the church.

She made it!  She's baptized!

Three generations: Reagan, Chelsea, and Cathy.

Look at this little one!  She was SO happy to be the star of the show!

Papa and Reagan horsing around.  Reagan changed into her party clothes ;)

Decor shots:  I strung a picture of Reagan representing each month of her little life.  It turned out to be a real hit!

Cupcakes + peeps = awesome!

Crashing Jen's Spring Break

During Jen's Spring Break, we tried to keep the kids occupied with a variety of the normal things, but also indulged in our local aquatic center, the beach, a zoo, and a farm.  From the word go, the kids were super excited about each of our little trips and so was I.  Not because I don't get to do cool things with the kids on any given day, but I they got to share these new experiences with Tyler, who is Jen and Jason's son.

Another small wonder that helped these outings was Ashton's changed temperament.  Over the last couple of weeks, I've observed Ashton mellow out.  We've had our share of tantrums and differences of opinions, but overall Ashton seems to be ever-so-slowly growing out of his embarrassing aggressive stage.  Thank God for that.  We've had such a good month that I even talked to Jimmy about having another child, which he still insists I want, but I quickly changed my tune!  Something about having three kids all under 2 1/2 made me want to pull my hair out...  I can't quite figure out why... Oh wait.  I remember.  The never ending diaper changes, juice refills, and expertly timed fights were enough to make anyone celibate.

Side bar:  My mom is going to ring my neck after allowing two of her absolute no-nos.  The third of which is tattoos, and unfortunately with our packed schedule, we just couldn't squeeze in an ink session.  

Swim suits? Check.  Honey Smacks? Check.  Sibling fun? Check, check!
Having a little snack on our back stairs to pass the time until Tar-Tar arrived for our trip to the pool.  

Reagan's new swimsuit that I totally didn't need to by, but couldn't resist.
Who can say no to a tutu?  

Jen double fists Reagan and Tyler as we load up for the pool.

Car seat extravaganza!  Looks awesome, but their close proximity was a cause of many fights at the start of Spring Break.  Mine!  NO MINE!

In short, Ashton's holding one of Jen's new silkie chickens on the way home from the farm.  He seriously held that thing for the 15 minute car ride home.  Not once did the chicken escape or die from over-squeezing.  I was SHOCKED.  Plus, who knew a chicken could be so cuddly and cool?

I cannot describe how enthusiastic and awesome Ashton was with the chickens.  He was a total natural and really surprised us with his mature handling and continued interest in the chickens. 

   

All of three of the kids were all-stars at the zoo.  We didn't have one tantrum or fight!  

Ashton feeding a goat. 

Ashton's outgoing personality is hilarious (... well, to me.  If you can't relate, you might find him annoying).  He jumped right into this class' field trip, talking with each kid like he'd met them before.  

The kids and I watching the black bear.  Speaking of which, they should reconsider how they barricade the exhibits; I swore one of them was going to jump into the cage and be mauled.

(Mom, don't kill me...)  Aunt Jen and Uncle Blue's house is like a free Disney World.  Above, the kids are in the buff because the trampoline was wet and they insisted on jumping anyway.  Meh, they're kids and I think this is what life's all about.

Sweet Baby Rea enjoying the swing after some naked trampoline fun.  

My mom and sister are sure to kill me over this picture, but here goes...
Uncle Blue takes the boys for a spin around the house.

Overcome with Fear

We were on a trip to the Salisbury Zoo and Ashton needed to use the restroom at the entrance of the Zoo playground.  After potty business was completed we walked the 50 feet to the car where Jen was waiting with sleeping Tyler and Reagan.

He was 15 feet behind me.

He vanished.

I turned around and began visually scanning the playground behind the restroom and the few cars in front of me. I call his name over, and over, and over again.  Louder, louder, and louder.  Time is quickly racing by and I dash into the playground continuing to call his name.

I can't find him.  I hear him once call for me, but he has been silent for what seems like hours.

I turn around and scan the parking lot behind me and see a water-filled ditch.  I'm totally frantic.  I sprint across to the ditch and start searching from above for Ashton.  I'm calling his name constantly but now feel overcome with emotion.  I'm crying and try to scream his name through my sobs.

Jen joined the search and I realize she is searching the other side of the parking lot.  Out of my peripheral vision, I see a car leave and I am now sure he has been taken.  Please be in the water, so I have a chance to save you from abduction.  He was right behind me.  I can't lose him.  I've had a short time with him.


Just when I thought my life was over, Jen calls out to me, "CHELSEA, HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!  HE'S FINE!!"  I sprint across to my son, sobbing with a combination of relief and excitement to see his wonderful face.  I embrace him, showering his with kisses and cry even more, now shaking at the thought of losing my precious boy.

Though the entire ordeal lasted only a couple of frightening minutes, I pray it never happens to anyone ever again.

In hindsight, I feel guilty.  I'm fully responsible for him wandering off because I failed to hold his hand, or put him in front of me, when we walked from the restroom to the car.  I cried, which made my mind race, thinking of all the possible horrible conclusions to this saga.  I am the reason he didn't answer.  I instructed him to not enter the playground until we took Reagan and Tyler from the car.  What kid can resist a playground full of colors and endless slides?  He ran in the playground hid somewhere and chose to stay quiet, so he wouldn't get in trouble or leave all the fun stuff.

Am I too hard on him?  Is he fearful of my wrath?

It is nearly impossible to manage a two-year-old at all times, but this incident reminds me that it is easy to get careless.  I have recommitted myself to being diligent, which I hope will prevent anything like this in the future. I'm not naive to think this won't happen again, but hopeful.

losing sleep, but catching bad guys

Sorry for not blogging this last week.  I have plenty to share, but haven't had a moment to sit and write, which is killing me.  

As some already know, Jimmy has returned to police work.  Yes, I said it; he's back to doing what he loves and has successfully restored his manhood.  Frankly, "private security" made being a security guard sound a whole lot cooler than it actually was.  Jimmy was bored to tears during the times when he wasn't supervising and when he was, it was impossible for him to understand his outright unprofessional and under-trained subordinates.  However, that wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back. In summary, it was the upper management team promising him the moon, and every single time, making Jimmy settle for a nightlight. 

At a moment's notice, Jimmy called the Chief of New Carrollton to beg and plead for his job back.  Once they met face to face, immediately, Jimmy was handed keys to a cruiser, his badge, gun, credentials with the State of Maryland, and a schedule to start the following Monday.  AND they even gave him a raise.  Believe me (especially since I was nearly hysterical, freaking out about what in the world we were going to do), we did not expect New Carrollton to hire him back.  The confidence and respect they have for the work Jimmy did for them this fall is remarkable.  We are so incredibly grateful.  Not only for the tangible benefits they have graciously given, but mostly because Jimmy is the happiest he's been since last summer. 

I'm saying all of this to explain the following video.  Jimmy was involved in a major warrant crack down and was pretty much the star of the show.  The reporter shadowed Jimmy's team of four officers as they served 500 warrants in just one apartment complex!  Nice neighborhood, huh?  I was, of course, terrified that this secret raid would result in my husband's final showdown and eventual death, but all is well.  Thank God for that!!

The below video features Jimmy over and over again bringing people to the paddy wagons for processing and their free ride to jail.  The news story says that 15 warrants were served, but Jimmy says it was somewhere in the 30-40 range by just his team.  Either way, he's sure this is his big break...

An ode to Cath, the greatest mother I know

I would be a piss-poor daughter if I didn't take a moment to recognize all that my mother has done for our family over the years.  She's a trail-blazing workin' woman and an inspiration to us, always showing that it is possible to do it all.  In fact, when we decided to have me stay at home, a bit of my feminist pride died within me as I always dreamed I would end up just like my superhero mother.  Our paths are a bit different between the two of us, but one this is for sure: my mom rocks. 

Mom, you should thank me for digging up only the most flattering pictures of you, blatantly disregarding the feelings of anyone else.  I didn't even sensor the embarrassing pictures of me during puberty, which I feel shows a hint of maturity.   

Celebrating a birthday circa 1985 nearly setting the house ablaze with the five hundred candles.  I assume this was dad's idea, since he loves reminding Mom of their 4 month age difference.  I love that dad's in a pink shirt and Trevor's underwear is outside his pants. From left to right: birthday girl, Trevor, Mom-moms, me, and Dad.

Singing at the senior center.  Sweet hats, girls.  From left to right: Mom, Lauren, me, and Papa, my mom's dad.

Buffington family in Hawaii in 1994.  I like the creative pose, distracting from the sole reason one travels to Hawaii: the scenery. 

Family fun on the set of the Fulerton Children's Repertory Theater.   I hope I'm wearing stage makeup or else I'm working the night shift on another kind of stage. Trevor's pumped to be alive.  Yay for the early teen years!

Buffington boating extravaganza.  From left to right: Lauren (with the SC shirt), me, Dad, Trevor, Papa, Mom, and Mom-moms.

At our house on Isle of Palms, SC.  Lauren don't kill me for this one...  at least I'm suffering with you.

Look at Cath shake it! 

Mom's acting goofy because hats are not optional at the Strottman's!

Sexy legs contest won without question!

Papa and Grammy are the best!!