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| Trevor, Ashton, and Joanna, who is Trevor's wife. |
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." ~Albert Einstein
Ashton is incredibly agile. He speaks very well for his age. He throws like a major league pitcher. Ashton can run, jump, tumble like a child three times his age. He has a wonderful heart and an easy sense of humor. I swear, swear, swear he is a good kid.
However, I am continually faced with the challenge of letting him be himself, spirited and boisterous, but well assimilated.
We were at a park playdate on Thursday night and I was that mother. While Ashton was on the play equipment, a man walked up pointing to Ashton and addressing all within earshot, "Is this anyone's child?" What I wanted to do is say, "Hell no!" because I knew he wasn't going to praise Ashton's daring leap down the tallest slide. But of course I answered softly, "Yes, he's my son..."
"Well, you need to watch him because he just hit my son, grabbed his face and pushed him down the slide. He's hitting and kicking and jumping in front of all the other kids in line"
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry... ASHTON!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! THREE... TWO... IF I GET TO ONE, WE'RE GOING HOME!" Followed by a swift, choking grab of his shirt as he bolted away.
I wanted to cry and probably would have if Jimmy were there (it's just safer when Mr. Macho is there to protect me). I was mortified, but beyond that, I felt so sorry for Ashton.
If he grows and continues to be the bully, kids will start avoiding him. I can already see it happening. On several occasions kids have announced, "I don't want to play with the mean kid," or "RUN! The rude kid is coming!" Even though he is young, at some point it is certain to damage his self esteem.
I remember this happening to my brother.
Trevor is a genius, but was misunderstood growing up. Kids can be cruel and somehow he was unable to crack the playground code. He was just not like the mainstream kids. The scars left by those formative playground moments ran deep and effected his self confidence for many years. Luckily, as Trevor grew to adulthood he learned how to harness his talents and gain self confidence, and finally everyone around him sees what I have always seen: the coolest guy on the planet. That said, it was a long and lonely process for all of us, especially Trevor; something I do not wish on anyone.
At this juncture, I am lost as to why Ashton is so physical. Almost half the time we are with other children, he is attacking someone at one point or another.
I've researched kids' aggression and reasons it might occur: dominance, verbal inadequacy, or ADHD.
When I've talked about this with friends, I keep hearing the "well, he's two and a half," and "embrace what makes him different." I get that he's two and a half. I love what makes him unique. But there has got to be a way to reign in his inappropriate violence.
No matter his personality type, he shouldn't kick two kids' asses in one trip to the park (Especially since kid #2 after face-grab dude was like 8 years old-- and this time it included biting).
Is discipline the answer? I feel like all I do is discipline... Can there be a greater issue rearing its ugly head?
