We're at a place that is difficult... and we're lost.
As a couple, we decided that I would stay home with the kids of course to save money on daycare, but also to help enrich our children's lives and our marriage. It has been great. It has been hard.
It seems like no matter how you work it, being an adult can suck sometimes. I remember how terrible my parents were for making me clean up after myself and be home before the crack of dawn, and I'd give almost anything to be back in their house, living under their strict rules. Those were the days... (Also loved the days of uniforms, but I'll leave that out for now.)
Money is so tight for us that it is maddening. I keep telling Jimmy that I wasn't made to be poor. Not that I'm high maintenance, couldn't be further from it, but I have no clue how to save money. I feel like an education and stellar work ethic should get you above poverty level. Maybe just me on this one...
Jimmy's working like crazy. Crazy. So crazy that I told him with tears in my eyes tonight that I'm afraid he will die by December. Every day off he's working alternative employment just so we can keep body and soul together. I'm not exaggerating. He's going without sleep so often that I worry every time he's on the road. And I'm not a worry wart, so you gotta know this is serious.
So, it's 2:57 a.m. and I'm looking for jobs. And finding nothing. Wonderful... This economy blows.
I have skills damn it! Where are the jobs that have a purpose and in an industry I know something about? (Really should have gone to nursing school...)
Sure, the prevailing problem is availability, but I come with baggage this time around:
- I'm not 22 anymore, and while I am fully capable of working 80 hrs/week, I have no desire to do so. I hated that about my last job.
- I don't want a ridiculous commute. Going back to my first point, spending two hours each day in a car is possible and in general, I enjoyed the alone time to think, but I don't want that anymore. What a waste of time, time that could have been better served on my children, my husband, or for plain shavin' my legs.
- I want something predictable. I've observed, for the most part, the more important you are, the more unpredictable your job becomes. A year ago, I'd call Jimmy an hour before the daycare dash and tell him he'd have to break out of work to pick up the kids. Yeah, that always went over well... (Am I trying to convey that I was important? I'll let you be the judge of that ;-D )
So what's a gal to do? Hook? You think there's a market for that in Richfield Station?
