What a Hero!

Nothing worse than being hung up on.  Unfortunately, this isn't rare for me when Jimmy's at work.  I called last night around 8:30 for no real reason, and he pick up the phone and said, "Gotta call you back!" Click.  I figured he was in the middle of apprehending a bank robber or ... insert cheap cop joke... eating a "pastry," and thought nothing of it.  Turns out he did something amazing in the hour that it took him to return my phone call. 



Jimmy was the first to see the fire, and immediately released the prisoner he had in handcuffs (minor offense, mind you), and ran toward the building.  While sprinting, Jimmy radioed dispatch telling them to send the fire squad immediately.   As this video indicates, two additional New Carrollton officers followed Jimmy throughout the building, banging on doors, and evacuating residents.  Jimmy told me that he tried as best he could to reach the third floor, but was stopped by the suffocating smoke and flames, and had to wait for the firetrucks to arrive to rescue those trapped with heavy equipment. 

When Jimmy finally returned home after his 14 hour shift (10 regular hours plus 4 additional hours to assist and record events from the fire), he wreaked of smoke, a lingering reminder of the horrific fire. I joked with him, saying, "you ready to go back to Coastal?!" (which is amazing that I could muster up humor at 2:30 a.m.), and he smiled, knowing full well that he has found his passion.

This experience, once again, confirms that Jimmy is an adrenaline junkie, since he was all hyped up afterward.  What a weirdo.  I would have been balled up in a corner crying for having cheated death.  At the very least we've confirmed what we already knew: Jimmy is cut out for this.

Seeking qualified applicants!

Ashton gets creative to get a set of screwdrivers moved from a toddler-accessible drawer to a high shelf.  Yeah, the secret shelf lasted about an hour.  Incidentally, he disrobed and moved the piano bench all while I was changing Reagan's diaper.  Just a typical day!

I spend a considerable amount of time reflecting on how damn difficult it is to parent.  This reflection is usually as a result of the kids' testing a new rule, observing different parenting styles between Jimmy and I, or being faced with physical challenges during tasks that would have otherwise been a breeze without carrying 60 lbs of baby on my hips.

Recently, I was thinking about all of the various skills it takes to be a decent parent-- notice, I didn't say "perfect," since I'm now certain that perfect is totally unattainable.  Some say that one should have to past a test in order to become a parent.  Well, since I'm sure the ACLU would be on that like white-on-rice, I figured a good ol' fashioned job description would do.

Baby seeking qualified candidates for the following position in the Greater Washington, DC area:

** Managing Director**

Must have former childcare experience with knowledge of and experience with incessant crying, sleepless nights, and poopy diapers.

JOB REQUIREMENTS

EDUCATION: Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology, Marital and Family Therapy; Master's Degree in Speech-Language Pathology, Bachelors Degree in Education with a concentration in Early Childhood Development, and an Associate Degree in Nursing.

EXPERIENCE:  No minimum experience required.

On the job training provided. However, candidate must be:
1. A Workaholic.  Position has no set hours and initial work week will render you comatose.  After initial training, work hours range from 10-20 hours per day, totaling as many as 140 hours per week.   
2.  A Team Player.   Position requires close communication and collaborative decision making with team members.
3.  Athletic.  Managing Director must possess the ability to reach for fallen objects while holding baby, cell phone, diaper bag, keys, sippy cup, and favorite toy or blanket.  Additional acrobatics required during playtime, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, and formerly simple tasks like checking the mail and clearing the dishwasher.
4. Creative. Daily opportunities arise for your creative input with little notice.

Previous experience as an Energizer Bunny, Executive Assistant, Events Coordinator, Motivational Speaker, Accountant, House Keeper, Photographer, Videographer and/or Stylist is desirable.  The ideal candidate is willing to learn, flexible, patient, and rich.

Baby has a terrific benefits package. Please forward your resume and salary requirements to Ihadnoclue@whatparentingbook.com.

Gunshy

Pretty much the entire world knows I took a bad bounce to the face three Sunday's ago.  It hurt just as bad as it looks and rendered me housebound for a solid week-  not from pain, mind you, from shear embarrassment.  Trouble is, ever since the accident, I've played like crap and I'm getting pretty down about it. 

I'm  faaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr from a perfect softball player, but I don't suck (contrary to what the black eye communicates).  I've prided myself on being consistent and aware of how to make plays-- ie: force outs and being cut off, etc.  Yeah, all of those things have been a struggle in the last couple of games. 

But what makes it worse is that when you make an error it is SO public.  Everyone sees it: my team, the other team, the fans, the umpire, the parking lot, and the entire world via Sports Center.  This part is what kills me; then my suckiness stresses me out, and I can't return to normal. 

All of my errors from last night, three, to be exact, plus a pulled something or other in my leg, keep running through my mind over and over again.  I realize I am making a huge deal out of church softball, like I am a pro athlete, but it is frustrating and so embarrassing. What I would have done in the past is force my dad to hit balls to me until sundown to get back into the grove of things and shake the bad juju.  Of course, he is 9 hours away and Jimmy's schedule starts at daybreak and doesn't return him until 10:30 p.m.  "Go to a team practice," you say?  Yeah, that's pretty much impossible with two little kids, in particular one who has boundless energy, attitude to match, and a deafening voice when he barks orders. 

However, my slump is so bad that I am going to try to go to practice today, despite the known obstacles.  I figure with a never-ending supply of fruit snacks, anything is possible.