What a Hero!

Nothing worse than being hung up on.  Unfortunately, this isn't rare for me when Jimmy's at work.  I called last night around 8:30 for no real reason, and he pick up the phone and said, "Gotta call you back!" Click.  I figured he was in the middle of apprehending a bank robber or ... insert cheap cop joke... eating a "pastry," and thought nothing of it.  Turns out he did something amazing in the hour that it took him to return my phone call. 



Jimmy was the first to see the fire, and immediately released the prisoner he had in handcuffs (minor offense, mind you), and ran toward the building.  While sprinting, Jimmy radioed dispatch telling them to send the fire squad immediately.   As this video indicates, two additional New Carrollton officers followed Jimmy throughout the building, banging on doors, and evacuating residents.  Jimmy told me that he tried as best he could to reach the third floor, but was stopped by the suffocating smoke and flames, and had to wait for the firetrucks to arrive to rescue those trapped with heavy equipment. 

When Jimmy finally returned home after his 14 hour shift (10 regular hours plus 4 additional hours to assist and record events from the fire), he wreaked of smoke, a lingering reminder of the horrific fire. I joked with him, saying, "you ready to go back to Coastal?!" (which is amazing that I could muster up humor at 2:30 a.m.), and he smiled, knowing full well that he has found his passion.

This experience, once again, confirms that Jimmy is an adrenaline junkie, since he was all hyped up afterward.  What a weirdo.  I would have been balled up in a corner crying for having cheated death.  At the very least we've confirmed what we already knew: Jimmy is cut out for this.

Seeking qualified applicants!

Ashton gets creative to get a set of screwdrivers moved from a toddler-accessible drawer to a high shelf.  Yeah, the secret shelf lasted about an hour.  Incidentally, he disrobed and moved the piano bench all while I was changing Reagan's diaper.  Just a typical day!

I spend a considerable amount of time reflecting on how damn difficult it is to parent.  This reflection is usually as a result of the kids' testing a new rule, observing different parenting styles between Jimmy and I, or being faced with physical challenges during tasks that would have otherwise been a breeze without carrying 60 lbs of baby on my hips.

Recently, I was thinking about all of the various skills it takes to be a decent parent-- notice, I didn't say "perfect," since I'm now certain that perfect is totally unattainable.  Some say that one should have to past a test in order to become a parent.  Well, since I'm sure the ACLU would be on that like white-on-rice, I figured a good ol' fashioned job description would do.

Baby seeking qualified candidates for the following position in the Greater Washington, DC area:

** Managing Director**

Must have former childcare experience with knowledge of and experience with incessant crying, sleepless nights, and poopy diapers.

JOB REQUIREMENTS

EDUCATION: Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology, Marital and Family Therapy; Master's Degree in Speech-Language Pathology, Bachelors Degree in Education with a concentration in Early Childhood Development, and an Associate Degree in Nursing.

EXPERIENCE:  No minimum experience required.

On the job training provided. However, candidate must be:
1. A Workaholic.  Position has no set hours and initial work week will render you comatose.  After initial training, work hours range from 10-20 hours per day, totaling as many as 140 hours per week.   
2.  A Team Player.   Position requires close communication and collaborative decision making with team members.
3.  Athletic.  Managing Director must possess the ability to reach for fallen objects while holding baby, cell phone, diaper bag, keys, sippy cup, and favorite toy or blanket.  Additional acrobatics required during playtime, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, and formerly simple tasks like checking the mail and clearing the dishwasher.
4. Creative. Daily opportunities arise for your creative input with little notice.

Previous experience as an Energizer Bunny, Executive Assistant, Events Coordinator, Motivational Speaker, Accountant, House Keeper, Photographer, Videographer and/or Stylist is desirable.  The ideal candidate is willing to learn, flexible, patient, and rich.

Baby has a terrific benefits package. Please forward your resume and salary requirements to Ihadnoclue@whatparentingbook.com.

Gunshy

Pretty much the entire world knows I took a bad bounce to the face three Sunday's ago.  It hurt just as bad as it looks and rendered me housebound for a solid week-  not from pain, mind you, from shear embarrassment.  Trouble is, ever since the accident, I've played like crap and I'm getting pretty down about it. 

I'm  faaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr from a perfect softball player, but I don't suck (contrary to what the black eye communicates).  I've prided myself on being consistent and aware of how to make plays-- ie: force outs and being cut off, etc.  Yeah, all of those things have been a struggle in the last couple of games. 

But what makes it worse is that when you make an error it is SO public.  Everyone sees it: my team, the other team, the fans, the umpire, the parking lot, and the entire world via Sports Center.  This part is what kills me; then my suckiness stresses me out, and I can't return to normal. 

All of my errors from last night, three, to be exact, plus a pulled something or other in my leg, keep running through my mind over and over again.  I realize I am making a huge deal out of church softball, like I am a pro athlete, but it is frustrating and so embarrassing. What I would have done in the past is force my dad to hit balls to me until sundown to get back into the grove of things and shake the bad juju.  Of course, he is 9 hours away and Jimmy's schedule starts at daybreak and doesn't return him until 10:30 p.m.  "Go to a team practice," you say?  Yeah, that's pretty much impossible with two little kids, in particular one who has boundless energy, attitude to match, and a deafening voice when he barks orders. 

However, my slump is so bad that I am going to try to go to practice today, despite the known obstacles.  I figure with a never-ending supply of fruit snacks, anything is possible. 

Yep, I'm a killjoy.

My entire life I knew I was never going to be an uptight parent.  I hate people who restrict their children for no apparent reason, which (I assume) satisfies their self-centered need to quell the irrational whims of childhood that actually make a child --gasp-- a child.   I wanted, and still want, to be the cool parent.  No, not the dope-providing, immature parent trying to relive their glory days, but the parent whose house is where everyone feels comfortable. 

However, the more and more I parent, the more and more I feel like a killjoy.  I remember growing up and hating my parents' ridiculous rules, because I thought they served no purpose.  Don't tell Dan and Cath, but I have changed my opinion on rules entirely.  Turns out, these rules had plenty of good reasons for being in existence (like sudden death, for example).

“Keep the water in the tub!”
Assumed reason:  My parents suck.
Actual reason: Water is a total hazard.  Both Reagan and Ashton have busted it because of water on the floor, and I’m talking head over heals, no limb to brace, tile-cracking fall.  Fallen child then looks at me with those sad, red eyes and act like it was all my fault.


“Food stays in the kitchen!” 
Assumed reason:  My mom and dad think I can't do anything.  I most certainly can keep food on this plate. 
Actual reason: Eating around the house takes one mess and multiples it by 10.  I was finding food freaking everywhere.  Under the couch, in the trunk of toy cars, on and in the carpet, even though I thought I was watching the kids like a hawk.  


“Sit in your chair!”
Assumed reason:  My parents are mean.  
Actual reason: You will fall.  It will hurt.  You will cry and ruin my dinner.  


“Don’t touch the laundry!” 
Assumed reason:  My parents love ruining my fun.
Actual reason:  There is nothing more annoying than spending 30 minutes folding clothes only to return to a clothes bomb executed by the two stealth bombers who run this house.  Sure, it's a blast to walk around with a shirt on your head, but here's your warning: it's a one way ticket to time out.


“Clean up your toys!” 
Assumed reason: My parents think I'm a slave.
Actual reason:  Somehow 10 toys become a minefield and more than likely, I'm going to get my foot impaled by a block or trip and fall over an invisible dump truck.  You think my stumbles are hilarious; however, they make me want to ring your neck.


Now that I'm in my parents' shoes, I am certain that my kids will think I suck and will rebel against the list of rules I've made.  I know that comes with the territory.  I'm just having a little trouble fitting into this particular part of the job description.  I'm not someone who necessarily believes in the black and white, so making hard and fast rules is challenging.  Sure I believe in right and wrong, but who cares if it is raining and the kid wants to go play?  

I wish parenting came with a set of 10-Commandment-like rules, so that I wouldn't feel like everyday I was setting another rule in reaction to some ridiculous or death defying incident.  Furthermore, at what point will I embrace my loser-ness and relish in the never-ending, always contested rule-making? How have you coped? 

Strottman dropby

 As the weeks and months quickly pass by, I occasionally remember to meet up with friends and get updates on what's happened since we last saw each other.  I'm notoriously bad at staying in communication, because I've never been one of those super communicators- you know the ones that always call when it's your birthday, send you an email when they think of you, and call on their commute... Basically the people that make me feel like a horrible friend and human.    

To all friends I haven't see in a while, I hope you take this two ways: I still love you and maybe you should call, since I suck.

Anyway, I randomly contacted our dear friends, the Strottmans, and took a quick visit to their house a few weeks ago. Coincidentally, it was Grace's seventh birthday, so it made me look like a rock star (to her at least).  Below are pictures of the chaos we created before her first sleepover.  

By the way, I gotta give credit to Matt and Kathleen for allowing 10 6-7 year old kids sleep over.  That sounds waaaaay too painful for my taste! 

Playing tag.  From left to right: Grace (7), Noah (3) and Ashton (2)

Let's dance!  Grace and Noah turned down the lights for a romantic atmosphere.

Even Reagan got in on the action with the big kids!

At first, the vacuum was the main source of sound.  Super fun for the grown ups.  After that, there was a battle of the lights.  Ashton is telling the room that he wants "LIGHT ON!"

Smoosh and kisses for the birthday girl.

Ashton truly helping clean up the toys with Kathleen!

Blessings Abound

It seemed pretty inconvenient to have Reagan's baptism and 1st birthday party on a Mother's Day.  I knew people would miss it for totally valid reasons.  Reagan's day in the sun would be lost, overridden by the mother's day flowers and cards. Frankly, a part of me didn't want to share the limelight either.  I wanted to be worshiped and just a little recognition for all that I do around here.

I called the church and talked with Pastor Byron about the date we had in mind.  He said, "what a blessing to be able to have your daughter baptized on Mother's Day."  It then occurred to me.  We're not baptizing her for the sake of cute pictures in a white dress.  We're not baptizing her so she can meet the congregation, as they have already watched her grow before their eyes.  We're baptizing her because we believe that her life as a Christian should start right away, and as Christians, we know there is nothing more important.  We're doing our part to guide her toward a path of righteousness and humility.

So, essentially, I am being selfish. What better gift for Mother's Day than to have my daughter begin her Christian life, just as I always dreamed she would.  I am fulfilling my dream of raising Reagan as a women of faith, and no Hallmark card or box of candy can compete with that.

It meant the world  to have our friends and family join us for the event, especially since they likely deferred their own Mother's Day plans to be with our family.   How remarkable that these mothers sacrificed on what should be their one day to not fix breakfast, do laundry, play chauffeur, etc.  As a mom, I know sacrifice comes as second nature, but I was so touched by the presence of my dear friends and family, who gave Reagan a piece of their day:  Cathy, Nancy, Tracy, Brandy, Jen, Brandi, Heather, Dolores, Vicki, Gracie, and Katie.

And... I did get celebrated.  Jimmy and my dad planted an entire bed of flowers as a surprise after Reagan's party.  My dad said that he and Jimmy had to leave to get me my mother's day present.  Truth be told, I thought they were going to the liquor store for some wine -- hey, mama gotta relax every now and then -- but they showed up with a truck full of flowers! 

Tyler and Ashton getting ready for the festivities!

Jen and Jason Potocki were selected as Reagan's God Parents.  Here we're all seated before the service starts. 

Brandy, Gage, and Tracy

"Big Ashton" and Gracie King

Dudley and Nancy (Jimmy's parents)

Vicki and Dolores (Jimmy's sisters)

Presenting Reagan to the church.

She made it!  She's baptized!

Three generations: Reagan, Chelsea, and Cathy.

Look at this little one!  She was SO happy to be the star of the show!

Papa and Reagan horsing around.  Reagan changed into her party clothes ;)

Decor shots:  I strung a picture of Reagan representing each month of her little life.  It turned out to be a real hit!

Cupcakes + peeps = awesome!

Crashing Jen's Spring Break

During Jen's Spring Break, we tried to keep the kids occupied with a variety of the normal things, but also indulged in our local aquatic center, the beach, a zoo, and a farm.  From the word go, the kids were super excited about each of our little trips and so was I.  Not because I don't get to do cool things with the kids on any given day, but I they got to share these new experiences with Tyler, who is Jen and Jason's son.

Another small wonder that helped these outings was Ashton's changed temperament.  Over the last couple of weeks, I've observed Ashton mellow out.  We've had our share of tantrums and differences of opinions, but overall Ashton seems to be ever-so-slowly growing out of his embarrassing aggressive stage.  Thank God for that.  We've had such a good month that I even talked to Jimmy about having another child, which he still insists I want, but I quickly changed my tune!  Something about having three kids all under 2 1/2 made me want to pull my hair out...  I can't quite figure out why... Oh wait.  I remember.  The never ending diaper changes, juice refills, and expertly timed fights were enough to make anyone celibate.

Side bar:  My mom is going to ring my neck after allowing two of her absolute no-nos.  The third of which is tattoos, and unfortunately with our packed schedule, we just couldn't squeeze in an ink session.  

Swim suits? Check.  Honey Smacks? Check.  Sibling fun? Check, check!
Having a little snack on our back stairs to pass the time until Tar-Tar arrived for our trip to the pool.  

Reagan's new swimsuit that I totally didn't need to by, but couldn't resist.
Who can say no to a tutu?  

Jen double fists Reagan and Tyler as we load up for the pool.

Car seat extravaganza!  Looks awesome, but their close proximity was a cause of many fights at the start of Spring Break.  Mine!  NO MINE!

In short, Ashton's holding one of Jen's new silkie chickens on the way home from the farm.  He seriously held that thing for the 15 minute car ride home.  Not once did the chicken escape or die from over-squeezing.  I was SHOCKED.  Plus, who knew a chicken could be so cuddly and cool?

I cannot describe how enthusiastic and awesome Ashton was with the chickens.  He was a total natural and really surprised us with his mature handling and continued interest in the chickens. 

   

All of three of the kids were all-stars at the zoo.  We didn't have one tantrum or fight!  

Ashton feeding a goat. 

Ashton's outgoing personality is hilarious (... well, to me.  If you can't relate, you might find him annoying).  He jumped right into this class' field trip, talking with each kid like he'd met them before.  

The kids and I watching the black bear.  Speaking of which, they should reconsider how they barricade the exhibits; I swore one of them was going to jump into the cage and be mauled.

(Mom, don't kill me...)  Aunt Jen and Uncle Blue's house is like a free Disney World.  Above, the kids are in the buff because the trampoline was wet and they insisted on jumping anyway.  Meh, they're kids and I think this is what life's all about.

Sweet Baby Rea enjoying the swing after some naked trampoline fun.  

My mom and sister are sure to kill me over this picture, but here goes...
Uncle Blue takes the boys for a spin around the house.